Living Life after loss
October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.
This whole month is dedicated to those who have lost their babies to Miscarriage(chemical, missed and recurrent), Ectopic pregnancies, TFMR(Termination for medical reasons), Stillbirth, Neonatal/Infant loss and SIDS. The specific week of October 9-15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss week and most importantly October 15th (today) is Pregnancy and Infant Loss day.
With pregnancy and infant loss comes grief, self doubt, sorrow, blame, anger, confusion… the list goes on. I found having a support system to hold you emotionally, spiritually and physically in this time was essential.
Over the last four years my spouse and I have experienced 4 losses. These losses were 13,8,7 and 8.5 weeks in gestation. Each one was different in their own ways. Processing and learning to move forward was not easy. I had PTSD, night terrors, fell into a depression all 4 times as well as struggled with situational anxiety due to the losses.
Conception after loss was/is the worst. Am I excited, scared, nervous, frightened, joyful, happy or sad. I was all of them. Even today as I am writing this. I am currently 15weeks 2 days with our two rainbow babies after two recent losses. I would be lying if I didn’t say the struggle has been hard. Mentally and physically. Not only do I have to care and nature my body to hold these two expecting bundles but I have a two children, my spouse, our home, the homestead, my job and running a business.
I can say without a doubt having my spouse, family and friends there to support me in this time of need drastically changed my healing process. I have also chosen to share my stories as another form of my healing. I do understand that this coping mechanism is not the most ideal for all so I have listed resources below that can offer support if you are or have experienced a loss and you need to talk but maybe not yet to those who are close to you.
Moving forward as a mom, friend, and doula I wanted to be able to support those in the same way that people supported me in my time of need. I recently completed a training to become a PAIL Advocate - this training gave me the opportunity to see pregnancy and infant loss from a different perspective. Not only from my eyes but trough those of others who has lost as well.
Resources available to you:
Find an Advocate near you:
